Perfectly Imperfect
“per·fect:” from Latin perfectus, “completed, excellent, accomplished, exquisite.”
When I Googled “perfect person in the world,” the first two links were for the “most handsome man in the world,” and the “most beautiful woman in the world.” Somehow that seems wrong, but is pretty much true. Perfection, first and foremost, is judged by how we look.
Look at the photos of me above. The left photo is of me when I was an infant. The right photo is me today (58 years young). Notice anything similar??
The hair that sticks up on the back of my head! It’s been there since my beginning! I can’t get rid of it as much as I try.
When I look in the mirror, I see the imperfection of my hair, my cowlick.
My perfection judge comes out. My hair is not perfect. Translation. I am not perfect. Because of my hair?
For me, trying to be perfect has three elements:
Some (external) standard: the perfect person, body, face, hair, career, spouse/partner, family.
Comparison to that standard: this is where judgment comes in.
Win or Lose? I usually end up on the losing end because I am comparing myself to something that I am not or something that I want to be.
The end result can be either motivating or devastating. For me, it can be disheartening.
To be “perfect” is to be “complete, excellent, whole.” Is that something that you and I can truly be?
I wonder if, in this life, we are not meant to be complete. That there is always something missing, something yet to be lived or revealed?
Maybe perfection is a paradox - something that we strive for, but never quite get to because of our incompleteness.
Maybe it’s trying to root perfection in something a bit more substantial rather than something elusive.
Can perfection be rooted in this moment instead of some future goal or accomplishment? I am perfectly me right in this moment. No more, no less.
One of my favorite authors, Mark Manson, wrote a blog post about Perfectionism. He writes:
“Perfection does not need to be a result. Perfection can be a process. Perfection can be the act of improvement, not the act of getting it right every time. Strive for greatness. Strive for quality. Even strive for perfection.
But understand that what’s in your head, that beautiful vision you have of how things should be, that is not perfection. Perfection is a process of removing imperfection. Of getting something out there, having it criticized, failing, and then improving upon it. This is a new, imperfect kind of perfectionism. It’s a functional form of perfectionism. One that won’t drive you or the people around you fucking insane.
And, dare I say, it’s even a useful form of perfectionism.”
Perfection is a process, not a result. I like that. I like that its puts me on a journey of self-improvement, not a final destination. Imperfect perfectionism. I like that.
I think striving for perfection takes us away from what is essentially us - our integrity, our authenticity. If we focus on being authentic and a person of integrity, our perfection will shine through. Our imperfect perfection. That’s what people want to see. That’s what I want to see. That’s where I want to see me at my best.
Cowlick and all.
