Once a priest, always a priest

Today is the 19th anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood for the Diocese of Rochester. As most of you know, I left active ministry in 2012. It was a tremendously life-giving experience for me, one that gave me many highs and lows.

I truly loved and gained so much from parish and pastoral ministry. I loved the people that I met along the way and I loved being with them in some of the most significant moments of their lives. They inspired and humbled me on my occasions.

I truly believe that God called me to the priesthood AND called me out of the priesthood. I gained and learned so much during my 9 years as an ordained priest.

I learned how to be a public speaker. I learned how to related to people in a greater way. I learned how to lead people in worship. I learned how to be in relationship with so many people from different walks of life. I learned that there is no such thing as a perfect family. I learned about life as a celibate. I learned how much I longed for relationship. I learned how I was so ashamed of myself for being gay. I learned how to overcome that shame. I learned how to think and believe beyond the limits of my faith and understanding. I learned that God loved me and always has.

Leaving was the hardest decision I have ever made. It took me 4 years to take the leap of faith….into the unknown. I had to face my darkest demons - doubt, disappointment, despair, unworthiness.

And, I had to face the light. The light of truth. The light of me in my most authentic life. The light of my own integrity. The light of me in a loving relationship. The light of God’s love shining down on me saying, “I made you, every single part of you.” I needed that voice, that light, that love.

I learned that life is to be lived 100%, no holding back. The holding back was getting to be too much of a burden.

Here I am, 19 years later, SO different from that person in the photo. A man who is standing on his own two feet, smiling, but with a greater sense of who he truly is and what he brings to this world. A person who loves himself and others in a much different way.

What I am learning more and more each day now is that you and I must stand in our own authenticity and integrity…every day. We are called to be the person we are created to be and to share that person with the world! We are here to bring some sense of light to the world, in small and large ways. We are called to love in ways that surprise us and bring us new life. Ministry for me has changed, not ended.

I am thankful today to God and all the people along the way in my life who have continued to call me to be more of Mark. The call of the community, your voices, has been strong in my life…and I have been listening. I will continue to listen to your voices to call me to even more of living life, coaching people to greater life in themselves, and to be more of a loving presence in our world today.

Thank you from the very depth of my soul for helping me be the “priest” I am today.