A Setback or a Set Up?
I heard this line recently on a podcast episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast:
“The seasons of your life that are setbacks are actually set ups for what we are called to do.” Jamie Kern Lima, IT Cosmetic Founder
Jamie was referencing the time in her life when she would go through a period of self-doubt that led her to a different trajectory in her life and purpose. Here is a link to the podcast if you would like to listen to it:
When you look back in your life, and specifically look at your own setbacks, would you agree with what she said?
The image that comes to mind to me is a sling shot. As we recede or get setback, we are actually in something that is taking us backwards in preparation for being thrust into some kind of forward motion that will take us to a new place in life and, more importantly, in ourselves.
Jamie helped me realize that sometimes moving backward is part of my movement forward. These movements are not happening TO me; they are happening FOR me.
There are some things about this that I believe are at work in the process of being set up:
Being “set up” requires a sense of optimism even in the midst of being setback.
We need to be future focused not past focused.
We need to be open to the learning of the lesson/setback. We must be teachable.
We must engage the setback with great energy and strength. We need to actively participate.
We must believe that we are more than the setback. We need to see our own potential.
We need to not take it personally.
This is not a setup for failure, but an experience that is readying us for something more of ourselves, if we can be open and engage it.
When I left one of my parish assignments as a priest, I was burned out and broken. I had tried to be “super priest” for the people that I was serving in that community. That setback forced me to look inward and face the parts of me that put me in that place to begin with: perfectionism, people pleasing, not really knowing who I was, doing things to get affirmation, and giving into whatever people wanted of me. I was running myself into the ground. Once I was completely broke, I realized I couldn’t keep doing it. I would have loved to blame someone else, but I couldn’t. I needed to face myself and my demons. I needed to recede in order to grow. I needed to see more of myself in order to be more of myself.
I see this in leaders and in teams with the organizations I work with. There is such an emphasis on who to blame, taking things personally, and not engaging it in a way that leads to an even greater sense of who they are. It’s about “fixing it” and not “learning and growing from it.” I try to help them take the time to sit with it and see where it might be leading them to. Taking this time leads to a better understanding and a greater outcome. I help individuals and teams take the time to look at the setback as a means to set them up for something greater.
What are your thoughts around this idea of setbacks being a means to setting us up for something more? I’d love to see your thoughts.